Barry Smalls: 2/2011

January 30, 2011

I shoulda known that when Mol wanted us to get the kiddies, it would only mean trouble. First off, the fuckin’ kids don’t get the whole concept of wait for us to get you, they want to go out and get food. With what fucking money, assholes?! Did getting caught once not teach you idiots anything?!

Whatever! So we get the kids and take ‘em to Mol’s. And like a big fuck me beacon of foreshadowing, that kid’s face I saw in the paper this morning, the one for the construction ads, well he was on billboards all over town, too. Seriously, the Wyrd can be a bitch at times, you know?

Well me and Lestrade get the Scooby gang down to Kensington, and of course, like clockwork, the robot does dumb. I’m starting to suspect he isn’t actually capable of intelligent thought. He tried to steal from one of Mol’s eyes on the street. Seriously, how dense can a guy be. I tossed him some change, since he’s not a bad guy and since I’m sure I’d hear no end of it if he was pissed off and we got the moron squad down to Mol’s without anymore incident.

And of course what does Mol do? She introduces three more new arrivals (FUCK!!!!!!!!!!), one of whom being GUESS WHO! Yup, construction kid all grown up. Fan-fucking-tastic! And then she offers the kids drugs. Sure I could have warned them, but it’s better for them to learn by example. Don’t take candy from grannies. Seriously, doesn’t anyone read Little Red anymore?

Either way, I was hoping that we could dump the kids here and be done with it, but NOOOOO. Of course Mr. Window shows up and, more like a Mr. Pane, makes Lestrade swear an oath that the four of us are on babysitter duty.  As you can guess, Hoyle and Bailey aren’t happy when they finally show up at the party. Seriously, what were they up to? Actually, no, I don’t want to know. THIS is why the Motley didn’t work!

Well after Hoyle gets his jollies introducing Lestrade to a cabinet, we finish telling the kids about the seasons, me and Hoyle have ourselves a chat with croc-girl, and we get the ring from her. I’m still a bit suspicious about her being a loyalist, but maybe she’ll be okay. Still keeping an eye on her. She’s the only one who didn’t pick a court. And speaking of suspicious people, that bird girl was asking me for knives by the dozen. Are all new beasts fucking out of their gourd?! Well, I’ll get her A knife, and if I find out that any of our own have been stabbed, I’m holding her responsible… personally.

Finally, as if the evening couldn’t get any worse, we decided to make a motley oath with the kids to make sure they don’t fuck up the oath we made to Window. It’s a good idea, all in all, but that doesn’t make me want to motley with any of them. At least I lucked out and none of them wanted to go Summer. At least one thing went right today. I’m going to go fuck up that construction site. I have a feeling that if the poster kid is one of these guys, then the site might be a loyalist operation. And with that Delilah chick operating too, this is gonna be a busy time for Summer… my favorite kind of time.

Barry Smalls: 2/2011

The Freehold of the Shaded Wing rlevitt